Desk Unchained continued

The group we met with today stated that condoms are for use by vagabonds and then followed that up with the statement that most men are in informal polygamous relationships with 2 to 3 women. The farmers we met with today follow different traditions than what the majority of Malawi follows with regard to what happens in marriage. The majority of Malawians follow a matriarchal society structure where the husband must move to the village of the wife to work and live on her land. So what happens is that all the men in a village are actually from somewhere else. Despite what sounds like a position of power for women in reality they are not treated with equality despite the fact that it is “their” land. This system is called uxorilocal, in contrast where we were today they are virilocal. That means that the wife goes to live in the village of the husband and it is his land. As well in this area a dowry must be paid by the daughter’s family to that of her husband. The men told us that kuchotsa fumbi does not occur in their area but the women told us that it still occurs but is highly secretive. This contrasts with what the men stated about how a woman used to be checked before marriage to make sure that she wasn’t spoiled goods (no longer a virgin) and that if she wasn’t the man could cancel the marriage or negotiate a higher dowry. The men stated that this practice no longer occurs though.
In this area if a man dies the widow will be married to one of the man’s younger brothers. If the widow was the wife of the younger brother she does not marry the older brother as he is seen almost like a father in law to her. Instead he will hire someone to come and have sex with her to get her pregnant with the man staying no longer than 3 days. The men stated that fisi is declining due to the impact of HIV/AIDS. The women described that fisi continues to occur and that it fisi means jackal and like a jackal a man they don’t know will be sent to them in the middle of the night and he will have sex with her and she does not have any say in the matter and never knows who the man was.
Some of the women farmers from today’s session were curious about the origin of AIDS and were discussing ideas that they have heard such as the American government creating HIV, injecting it in Africans who are in American prisons on the agreement that they would release them if they allowed themselves to be injected. Then the prisoners were set free, given some money and deported back to Africa where HIV then was spread to everyone. Another theory was that HIV may not even exist and that when you tell someone they are HIV positive they may die from frustration and despair. Despite these ideas they all could describe the difference between HIV and AIDS, how it is transmitted and what practices encourage it’s spread. All these ideas came from a female farmer that is also a trained nurse and works in a medical clinic. The women in this area also stated that if they asked their husband to wear a condom he would assume they had been unfaithful but what is telling is that the women stated that they think the same. If their husband stated he would want to wear a condom they would assume he had been unfaithful and since they all stated they believe in abstaining and monogamy condoms aren’t needed.
Today definitely put an interesting spin on issues like George Bush’s administration being against condom use. He has been much vilified for the spread of condom use but from the samples we spoke too they wouldn’t want them anyways. Across the board we were told that they encourage unfaithfulness and promiscuity and aren’t needed except by those with low moral standings like sex workers and vagabonds. Religion and the role of the local pastor is extremely important in this as we were told the pastors inform them about the truth behind HIV including the fact that condoms given to Africans are full of holes to let the virus through and that this can be tested just by filling a condom with water and watching the water leak through little holes therefore there is no reason to use them.